Let's see if someone out there understands this

[emotionallou]

I met my now wife over 16 years ago, we just celebrated our 12th anniversary. When I first met her, she was this bubbly confident chubby girl. I have an admiration for full figured women. For the first 8 years, there were no problems at all, we never really had any kind of altercation or fight. A couple minor disputes, but we never went to bed angry. Four years ago, we had our first child and life changed, for the better. We had love for each other and him. Until he got a bit older and her family began to intervene. I can't stand her overbearing controlling aunt. But within the last two years, she has changed completely. She set her mind on getting Gastric Bypass and didn't really care how I felt about it. I am totally against it, even more so that she never attempted to seek traditional ways of dieting. She had the surgery back in February and still to this day, I have not had any relations with her. We had many many talks about our situation and how we feel. I am an honest man that does not have a problem speaking his mind. She would see my problem and change for a few days, but then its back to the same routine. When I call her during the day to just say hi or tell her something happened that reminded me of her, she would blow me off and tell me she's busy. She got mad at me for kissing her good bye when I leave in the morning, complaining why I had to go wake her up for. When she gets home, she hates that I give her a hug before she gets a chance to get changed. I do most of the housework since I'm home before she is and start cooking. But, lately, it just feels like I went from being a husband and someone she loves to something like a roommate. If any of you gone through this or are going through it now, what's the secret to making a woman happy that basically lost all her self confidence on who she is and now is starting to push me away. I do still love her and I know she loves me, but I think she stopped being in love with me.

[chazzc (deleted)]

My story is similar. We me about 15 years ago. Moved in together and married about a year later. I should say that I am almost 10 years older. She is also Asian and carries with her many values of her culture. She visits her home, Japan, almost every year. She takes the kids with her for four to six weeks each year. Both kids are bilingual. Over the years her personality has changed. I assume mine have also changed. There are some aunts in the family that have negative personality traits. I see these traits developing in her. I do not not love her but living with her is getting to be more problematic. The kids are the two joys in my life, and I will do nothing to disturb their childhoods. I just wish my wife would be not as different than the woman I married.

c